[church love]
-Brian Habig & Les Newsom
Madre and I have been talking shop lately. When I say 'shop', in the context of my mother, it always means the Church or Christian liberty. Nothing else. Lately, it has been the Church. What is the overall function of the Church? What constitutes a member pulling out of a congregation? What is the most important aspect of ministry? These are just a few things that keep being brought up. I bought her Habig and Newsom's book, The Enduring Community, while I was at R.U.F's summer conference last week and it has been an excellent host for discussion.
If any of you (who are more than likely not reading this. I pretty much use this thing as an excuse to think aloud and breath mentally) have known me for any amount of time, you've probably heard me say, "I love the Church. The Church is where I feel most alive." in a very gutsy, passionate moment. Yes, this is me -to the core. Now, you can find me even more often complaining about churches and how religious they are and how stuffy and cultural it's become, but to my core being, I love the church. I hope this is one of those things that is here to stay. I don't want to be the mom that skips church because her kids are better off learning the Bible at home, or one of those wives that gets angry at church politics and listens to sermons online while her husbers attends. Nope. I refuse to even imagine. Well, it's kind of hard to imagine me married and being a preggers but that's a whole other thought process...
I want to be that lady who is decrepit and basically blind who goes to church whenever she possibly can. Maybe I'll change my name to Breezy. That sounds like an old lady name. Maybe little girls and teenage boys will know me and maybe I can attend old people Bible study and mentor young mommies. Or old mommies. And maybe I will sing worship songs that are probably obnoxious and too young for me at the top of my lungs, just because God is big. I want to be with my church until I croak, leading the way while being led. Wow. That makes aging seem worthwhile right now. There's something so great about the thought of showing someone how glorious it is to die. But so often it's easy to shut the elderly members of our congregations and compartmentalize members so we don't get to glean from the old or young. That is something God has definitely been pressing on me lately.
And it's hard being home and back at your home church and not quite fitting back in perfectly. It's like being on of those little green puzzle pieces from a 2500 piece garden scene that doesn't really fit the other piece but if you mash it just right, it kind of works, even though you know better. Honestly, I like this feeling. I have had so many struggles while being away from home that God -in His complete kindness- decided to give me a church that I have fallen in love with. It's hard not to compare being at home. It's actually been really hard to leave for the summer. It's definitely one of the main things I have missed since returning from John Brown. And that, I think, is cause for thanks. I keep learning that God is crazy about a whorish society, under his means of grace, that we like to call the Church. And I'm almost proud to be a part of it.
Almost.
As Jon Foreman tells it,
"We are a beautiful letdown
Painfully uncool
The church of the dropouts
The losers, the sinners, the failures, and the fools
What a beautiful letdown
Are we salt in the wound"
And all of God's children said
Amen.
4 comments:
I hate to break it to you, but Breezy just sounds like a code word for an old person who lets off gas. Just thought you would like to know.
Its cool that you are comfortable as a puzzle piece going from church to church. Ive never felt quite the same since going to Guatemala even and then returning to my home church. Maybe thats because they are going through tons and tons of changes that I don't particularly agree on. And now I am in limbo as I try to find a church to attend here. Its kind of intimidating in a "its my choice" kind of way. Stupid per capita of churches to people here. Not saying that it is stupid. Anyways I think you might get my drag.
I just want to get involved now. I think a lucky church out there could use my talents. Ha ha.
No seriously, I have talents.
Good stuff there Bri. Crazy thought process you have. Keep it up.
great to hear your heart for His heart my sister. how do you proclaim the unified living bride to your friends when so many of this day and age want that relevant, culturally acceptable, scripture out the window out the window what makes me feel good kind of church
this post reminds me of Derek Webb's song, "The Church"... if you don't know it, go find it and listen to it. You'll like it. :)
(yep, I'm an official Bri stalker today)
Hmm :?, the post especially towards the end kinda remind me of the lyrics to Gronlandic Edit by Of Montreal...
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