kitsch

Evangelical theology has been tedious, to be perfectly honest. I feel like nothing more could be fleshed out about the incarnate Christ (no pun intended) and today I struggled to keep the eyelids from fluttering to a closed stop. To begin my 50 minute battle with my old foe I picked up my favorite ink pen and began to draw petty objects, or rather, petty representations of objects. It's a common ritual for me. This particular professor posed a question that irritated me. Why does one ask questions that are circular arguments? And obviously, if this question is being posed in the fall 2009 Evangelical Theology class in section B, I'm sure it's an argument that has been ongoing well before the establishment of this class at John Brown University. Anyway. As he posed this question, I looked up to hopefully shoot him a subtle, respectful (ha) look that would seem to say, "Are you sure you want to ask this? Carefully examine before answering." But before I threw out my self nominated award winning look, something caught my attention. My intent eye strayed from his face but for a second only to behold a very odd object fastened to his body.

Let it be known, this professor is a hybrid of sorts. I knew this even before enrolling in one of his courses. His subject of interest is the outdoors and he teaches all of the outdoor leadership classes and frequently works at camps in his spare time. I always found it strange that this incredibly timid, introverted man was the outdoor leadership go-to, as well as a biblical studies, much less a professor. I wonder if people such as himself had always planned on going into education. I would find it a bit oxymoronic in his case. Even when he speaks there is a reluctancy to let the words fall out of his mouth. He seems to ponder each word before allowing them to form into a command, fact, or joke. On any given day it's endearing or trying.

Sure, it was just a belt but the azure and burnt orange flashes of color must have been the factors of my optical bunny trail. This man only wore neutral colors. I would put money on his undergarments and pajamas being some variation of an oatmeal or bambi brown shade. Maybe a ever-green to spice things up. But this belt! I tried not to be obvious but I could not figure out what was going on that strap. Sure enough, as he inched a little closer to a self-denying peeping tom, I made out a continuous mountain range tiling around his waist with a very vibrant sunrise behind it. Atypical was my initial thought. So, that was a lie. Ridiculous might have been more accurate. I then proceeded to thoroughly piece together his outfit. I noticed he wore a nice, pastor-y looking collared cotton shirt in an appropriate night sky blue and poison ivy green - kind of like those long sleeved golf shirts, whatever their Christian name is. His small spectacles, polished brown shoes and neatly trimmed goatee affirmed the general Bible professor look well. I then noticed his pants. I'm sure they were hiking pants, as little as I know of such things. But they were of a fancy khaki windbreaker like material with zip offs that would leave some assuredly scandalous sun-forsaken thighs in sight. He made the wise decision to keep his options open by leaving the zip offs on, for which I was grateful.

My thoughts of ill posed questions over the peccability or impeccability of Christ had totally exited my mind as had my chance of winning that award for the most thought provoking look. I was fine with that, initially because I was amused by a fifty-something professor who had no fashion sense. But as soon as that thought green-lighted into my conscious, I immediately caught its error.

This man, as withdrawn and confused as he may seem, had perfectly described to me a bit of who he was. Neither of his jobs seem to really fit. I'm sure he doesn't exactly mold well with the rest of the biblical studies faculty. Of course someone as quiet as him would love the silent beauty of nature and the Bible enough to drag his knowledge and thoughts out for others so they could discover them too. Though introverted and quiet, today he said loudly, this is who God has created me to be. The belt was definitely the thesis of his statement. What else could that man have worn that would have surmised better of who he was? It kind of made me want one.

I'll have to keep my eye out for a belt with different countries on them with famous pieces of art and jumbo treble clefts. Maybe it should be one of those 3D belts so all of the elements can jump out at any given moment and demand someone else to examine the grins of who God has made them to be.